


Radar

by MrsThreepwood



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Episode: s02e03 The Reichenbach Fall, Gen, M/M, Reichenbach Feels, Sad Ending, Sherlock Being Sherlock, Songfic, Unrequited Love, mainly Sherlock's POV, so much hurt, though it's not really unrequited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-20 18:06:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1520204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsThreepwood/pseuds/MrsThreepwood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock is sad when he thinks John can't see him.<br/>A short songfic dealing with "The Reichenbach Fall". Sadness ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Radar

_A tear-drop fell from the right eye._   
_And clever words have left me be._   
_You see everything you want to._   
_But baby you don't see me._

While John was rumbling about the latest newspaper article, Sherlock was desperately trying to distract himself with the “ear hat”. Pretending to be upset about a piece of clothing was definitely easier these days than hearing John's anger about the implications of them being a couple.  
“Confirmed bachelor John Watson!”, his flatmate shouted in disbelief.  
In moments like these, Sherlock was incredibly thankful for being gifted with the talent of acting. Obviously John didn't suspect the tiniest bit and was still caring more about the way the stories in the papers would affect his own dating-life. He didn't see the hurt in Sherlock's eyes or the shaky breath the detective let out after hearing they had to be more careful.  
More careful about what? It wasn't like John had returned one of all the flirty looks Sherlock gave him. In contrary, he used every possibility to make clear he was not gay. Even if there was no one listening.

 

_And hallelujah,_   
_for slicing through the chains we made._

 

Holding his hand on a wild chase from the police through the back streets of London was the closest to “intimate contact” Sherlock would ever get to with John. Some of the aspects were just like in his imagination: The blood rushing through his body, the two of them panting from exhaustion, the warmth of John's hand. Sherlock had imagined this being part of a post-coital bliss though and not the effects of holding a gun to his best friend's head. Still the detective savoured every second of it and hoped his companion wouldn't hear the wild beating of his heart while they sat in the dark, waiting for Kitty Riley.  
Though Sherlock knew John was loyal and their adventures proved there had to be a lot of trust between the two of them. But still he feared the doctor could be persuaded by Moriarty and his minions that he was indeed a fake.  
Picking the lock of the handcuffs that tied them together wasn't a hard thing to do. Dealing with the relief in John's face when he was finally able to frantically pull his hand away certainly was.

 

_Your love is like a distant lighthouse,_   
_Spreading light across the sea_   
_Every ship is on your radar,_   
_But somehow you don't see me_

 

Sherlock never thought he would consider Molly the most observant person around him, but in the moment she stated “You look sad. When you think he can't see you.” he did.  
He had tried to stay guarded and put his “I'm married to my work and an emotionless genius”-mask up all the time but obviously some persons were able to see through him. Sadly, John wasn't one of them.  
Of course he'd still bring women from the pub or work back to 221B, even in the most stressful times. Dating was an important part of John Watson's life and there was no way he'd stop that just because the world's only consulting criminal was threatening their lives.  
Some mornings he would bring his dates down to the living room for breakfast and pleadingly looked at Sherlock not to deduce the hell out of them. The detective wasn't even interested in doing so any more. Some months ago he had to discover that no matter how many women he drove away from his friend, he would never be able to take their place.

 

_And hallelujah,_   
_your love is like a razor blade._   
_And hallelujah,_   
_for slicing through the chains we made._

 

“Alone is what I have. Alone protects me.”  
“No. Friends protect people.”

Inwardly Sherlock winced at the last words John would ever tell him in person. For one moment he wanted to run after his friend, tell him Mrs. Hudson wasn't dying and everything would be fine. But he knew there was no going back now and hurting his friend was one of the most important parts of his plan – and by far the hardest one. Of course he didn't want to drive John away, but going for a hug wouldn't save the world. Abandon all his friends to protect them and go for a one on one with Moriarty would though.  
After sending his text to the criminal mastermind, he took the stairs to the rooftop. There was one more thing left to do: One of them had to die.

 

_And if you need someone to hold you_   
_And if you need someone to walk you_   
_And if you need someone to talk to,_   
_Did you think I'd really care?_

 

John fumed when he left Bart's to rush to their (or rather his) beloved landlady. Yes, Sherlock had never been the type for sentiment but Mrs. Hudson always seemed to have a special place in his heart. Now John was sure Sherlock really didn't have one and maybe the press had been right, maybe there was something wrong with the detective, maybe he wasn't even real.  
All his fears and suspicions were shattered the moment he saw Mrs. Hudson, very alive and definitely not shot, smiling at him.  
Turning on his heel, John knew instantly he had to go back to see Sherlock and stick with him. No matter what the genius said, alone definitely wouldn't protect him.

 

_A teardrop fell from the right eye._   
_It's the last thing that you'll ever see._

 

“Nobody could be that clever.”  
“You could.”

Two words. Two words and finally Sherlock knew. His mind might be brilliant but his heart always had been blind. John had stated he wasn't gay a thousand times, he never said he wasn't bisexual though. He had told Angelo he wasn't Sherlock's date, but now Sherlock definitely remembered the hint of regret in John's voice.  
Suddenly he himself regretted all the words left unspoken and wished he could tell John how much he really meant and how he had changed the detective's life. An instant later the thought of the snipers came back to his mind though and he knew there was no time left to dwell in sentiments.

“Goodbye John.”

A single tear fell from Sherlock's face before he took a step into the void and the world faded to black.

**Author's Note:**

> http://bop.fm/s/wayne-jackson/radar
> 
> A short snippet of the song.


End file.
